Most of us are trying our best to save money before we move into our dream house. This means that so many people have to bridge the gap between staying in temporary accommodation and moving into their property. A lot of people decide to stay with their in-laws before moving house and this seems like a very good idea on the surface, it saves you money after all! But we all have to remember that staying with the in-laws can seem like a fantastic idea in the short term, but there are a few things that we should consider before taking the plunge.
Can They Actually Accommodate You?
You may put a lot of your worldly possessions into storage but while the in-laws have been more than welcome to let you settle in for a while, do they feasibly have the room? We can always feel like we are a guest in their house and while we may be married into the family it doesn’t necessarily mean that we feel like we can put our feet up. It could very well be a cramped situation and if your in-laws can feasibly accommodate you with a spare room, you have still got to cope with confined quarters.
Getting Over The Differences In Opinion
If it becomes a pressure cooker situation when you only see your in-laws on occasion, but now you are moving in with them, it can be a shock to the system for them and you. We’ve got to remember that we need to bite our tongues on occasion. Sometimes the in-laws are incredibly liberal but there can be quite a few differences in opinion. Naturally, with older generations, they may say things that aren’t really accepted now or if politics decides to make an appearance at the dinner table, you may have to take a very considered approach to how you voice your opinions.
Being Treated Like A Minor
They are your elders and so, even if you are 21, 42 or even older, it’s something that can anger any one of us. When someone treats us like a child, even though we are not, it can cause frustrations and tension to bubble to the surface. You are a fully grown adult but the in-laws are taking you in out of the kindness of their hearts so you may have to grin and bear it. It could very well be that they make a passing comment about something you do or they may impose certain rules but you’ve got to remember that this is for the greater good. In fact, this could spur you on to getting the house buying process done! Being treated like a child when you’re in your 30s or 40s feels like the most embarrassing thing ever.
How It Can Impact The Relationship
Firstly, you’ve got to tackle the intimacy issue. You may have a room all to yourselves but you are under someone else’s roof. They may tell you that you can treat the place like it’s your home but you won’t feel that way. It could mean that you put on your best behavior so your partner may see a side of you that they haven’t seen for a while. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when we get accustomed to each other, the realities of the relationship can be a surprise to the in-laws. A lot of in-laws understand the fact that any relationship comes with ups and downs but when you are doing your best to put a pleasant smile on the situation it can be a bone of contention between the two of you. Painting a smile on isn’t productive, especially if you’re going through the stress of getting the house ready but you’ve also got to take the time to speak to each other. When it’s possible, go for an evening out with your partner and get away from the madness. Even if your partner is really close to their parents, no doubt they are feeling the same pressures as you do!
On the surface moving into the in-laws is fantastic for saving money. They could do everything possible for you and try to make you feel at home but the fact of the matter is that you don’t have a place that you can call your own doesn’t make you relax. It can be stressful for this reason alone. But once you take into account the various pressures of living with your in-laws under one roof you might not feel that saving all that money is worthwhile. If they’ve offered for you to spend some time with them, even if it’s just for a couple of weeks it’s easy enough to bite your time but if it’s a long sojourn going into months this is when things can get a little bit ugly. You’ve got to look at the type of person you are, especially if you are married to their prince or princess. In their eyes, their son or daughter can do nothing wrong. This means that you’ve got quite a mountain to battle against. But you’ve also got to remember that sometimes it can be the best thing for the relationship between you at the in-laws. Taking the opportunity to spend time together under one roof can mean that when you do move out that everything will be easier.
It’s never an easy decision to make if you are part of the family but don’t necessarily spend much time with the in-laws. It could be stressful trying to keep a brave smile on things but it’s also important to remember that they will be feeling the pressure as well. They only want to do the best for you but when you spend a lengthy amount of time with the in-laws before moving house, which many people do now, it can be a make-or-break situation. Go into it with an open mind but remember that everybody has their limits! It can be a very tense situation and while it has a positive outcome, be sure that you stay polite and respect the boundaries.
